MY OPINION DOESN’T MATTER:

Because The Feelings Of Others Matter MORE

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

Although we Christians are not focused on our own feelings, and getting our own way, we ought to be focused on the feelings of those in which we come into contact. If we're truly humble, our opinion should come second to another person's feelings. If I say to myself, '‘my opinion doesn't matter here’ maybe that will come to mind when someone asks for my opinion, and I don't have anything nice to reply, if I'm to be brutally honest. Even stating those words,‘ OH, my old opinion doesn't matter!’ Or, comment on something I do like about a woman’s dress when asked, saying something like, “I like the pretty flowers!” Because while I do think the flowers are nice, I can decide to keep out the part about how the dress is too busy in its pattern, and the flowers are too bright in my opinion…..This is a better response, because of it’s positive aspect, which is more Christlike. And reacting with this meekness also demonstrates humility, and that's the example a Christian needs to project.

And this reaction shows that we're making a point to keep our the whole extent of our opinion out of the matter, so that the focus can be on that person who asks the question, by answering with his or her best interest at heart; choosing the most positive response as possible, which is something we believe that person needs to hear, without crossing that dividing line into dishonesty.

Like if a young, seemingly insecure woman of around 20 years asks me about her new haircut, which she has been crying over for days. And I think she’s so pretty that her hairdo makes no real difference, even though I see that the hairstylist did do a bad job, I should tell her that! And maybe add that her bangs will grow in really fast because that’s hair that is freshly grown, so it grows faster than the length. And that sort of edifying response may even help her see herself in a new, more self-gracious light…

The Bible does make this point. Like, with those 2 sisters, for example, Rachel and Leah. Rachel was the one blessed with physical beauty and the Bible makes that clear. But the other one the Bible describes as having ‘delicate eyes’—

“Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance.” (Genesis 29:17)

How beautifully the Bible puts things is something to keep in mind, because with God ALL things from giving to charity to the way we speak, He Decrees are to be beautiful. Because we can take the beauty out of anything, we mere mortals are awfully good at that. We can take a beautiful gesture and then brag to our friends, which the Bible warns is ungodly, because it makes our generosity all about ourselves. And we even lose any reward from Him! (SEE Matthew 6:1-7)

There's always a way, through this practice to use our words to exalt a fellow, vulnerable human being, which we all are when we put ourselves out there and ask someone else's opinion, whether it's about our hairdo, special abilities, cracking jokes about our intelligence, or lack there of—anything….

Being humble means more than simply not thinking too highly about ourselves. (SEE Romans 12:4) Because the whole point of being honest is lost if our words lose their edifying purpose in the process. I'm not talking about codling someone's weakness, which only makes that person weaker, or strengthening a delusion; I'm talking about those times we all find ourselves in where someone asks something like, ‘How do I look?’

But in the end, if our honest answer isn’t edifying, what good is it? If it tears someone down, it's no longer a question of honesty, but of something more important. Because this situation requires the brutal kind of honesty. See Ephesians 4:29 noted below. There are times when hearing the truth does more harm than good.

When Jesus demonstrated brutal honesty, it was to the Pharisees who challenged Him, and He responded with the highest, ultimate authority that belongs only to Him. So that's an example of His jurisdiction of His unmatchable authority. Which leads to another point, when we focus more on honesty than edification, we are in essence, acting more like a Pharisee than a Christ-follower, as they stood on ceremony, as the saying goes; making the following of rules a bigger priority than that of projecting in Christlikeness…

Responding to another's request for my opinion may call for me to say to myself, ‘My opinion doesn’t matter in this case. How can I reply in a way that will edify and uplift this person whose heart is raw and exposed right now?’ Then, give him or her my most loving and merciful response. And this also further demonstrates doing unto others.

Here is the AI answer. It is worthy of displaying here, as this response aligns perfectly with what the Bible teaches on this fragile subject—

AI Answer

“The Bible does not explicitly state that your opinion doesn't matter when someone asks for your thoughts on their appearance. However, it provides strong principles on how to balance honesty with kindness in such situations.”

RELEVANT VERSES NOTED ABOVE:

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

AI also confirmed that the word corrupt in this context is not explicitly refers to dishonesty, but even honest words that do not edify—

Highlights Taken From AI Answer:

“The word “corrupt” (sapros) in Ephesians 4:29 includes harsh, hurtful words, even if they are one’s honest opinion, because the verse defines acceptable speech by its impact—edifying others—not by its raw honesty.

Definition: This Greek word (sapros) describes rotten fruit, putrid fish, trees that are unhealthy.

The Purpose of Speech: The text commands that speech should be “good for necessary edification”and”Impart grace to the hearers.” The goal is to strengthen, encourage, and bless the listener, not to simply express one’s opinions regardless of the damage.”

NKJV